My Wedding Ring

I lost it. It's gone.

Last Sunday I went to the YMCA and realized I hadn't removed my wedding ring. So I took it off and put it in my cupholder. I remember thinking at the time that someone could break in and steal it. I very, very rarely remove it. That's the last time I remember seeing it.

That ring is more than just a ring to me. It's been part of me for over 15 years. The poor thing has been through a lot.

In the late spring of 1993, Todd took me ring shopping. First I had a to sign a hand-written contract saying that I would keep my mouth shut about it! The first store we went to was Woelk's Diamond Jewelers in Russell, KS. The first ring we looked at was mine. It was an original! We never found another ring that we liked as much.

Todd officially proposed to me over the Fourth of July that year. He only had the engagement ring portion because, as a poor college guy, the other part was still at Woelk's while he made the payments.

In August that year I started my first teaching job. It was rough being away for Todd for that semester but I was very busy coaching volleyball and being a single mother to a kindergartener. One morning I woke up and my ring finger was swollen up. Something had bit me during the night. The ring wouldn't budge and the swelling kept getting worse. School hadn't started and I had my girls doing two-a-day practices. After early morning practice I called Todd crying. Heath and I drove to Dighton and I had it cut off. It was traumatic!

The night before Todd and I were married, he went out with his buddies for his bachelor party--Todd, Mac, Jack, Hank, and Jeremy. They even met up with some Hugoton guys while they were out that night in Liberal. Jack and Mac got tickets that night for the "intent" of relieving themselves in the fountain on Main Street. (They got out of those!) When the guys got back to Jer's house, my ring was gone. In a panic, they started searching. The velvet-covered box was found on the floor. It had been chewed up by Shadow, Jer's German Shepherd. However, when they opened it my ring was still inside it without a scratch. I still have that box.

Since then it has rarely left my hand. The underside of the ring is thin from so much wear. Over the years I've cleaned many substances out of its nooks and crannies--everything from baby poop to cookie dough to hair product. In fact, it has become a tradition to sit at dad and mom's kitchen bar over the 4th of July with my sisters and mother and clean all of our rings together while we share stories about our year. Weird tradition, I know. (I never said my family was normal!)

It has been in numerous lakes and both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. It has been made bigger and then bigger and, when my finger got thinner, I wrapped taped around it so I could still wear it until it was made smaller. I've lost a diamond that was replaced. I've had the prongs built up. Many people have commented on its uniqueness...and to this day I have never seen another like it.

It even has a flaw that only makes it more endearing to me. You can actually see the flaw with your bare eye. Anytime I got it cleaned or fixed or resized, I looked to make sure that my flaw was there. It was MY ring and MY flaw.

It's been there through our ups and downs. Wow, marriage is quite a journey. I know it's just a piece of jewelry, but it represents so much to me.

And now it is gone.

It's funny how my trust in God affects how I look at everything. Even this makes me think that after 15 years--raising kids, changing careers, moving, growing apart and together in the ebb and flow that is a marriage--maybe a fresh start is in order.

And, who knows, maybe one day God will make sure it's returned to me. In the meantime, I'll be perfectly happy with a band.

Funny Things My Kids Say--Part 6

The other day we were having company for dinner. For dessert, I purchased two chocolate chip cookie mixes. However, that evening I had a headache. Knowing that my daughter likes to bake, I called Tana up and asked her if she would mix and bake the cookies for me. She was happy to do so.

I laid down to take a short nap and try to quash the ache in my head. But too soon I was awakened by the smell of burning cookies. Lying there, I heard Todd hollering for Tana and listened as she removed the sad little things from the oven.

After a few more minutes, I got up to check out the damage. Yep, they were pretty burned.

What had happened? I wondered if she got distracted by homework or the computer. Did she forget to set the timer? Did she have her iPod going and just not hear? So I called her up to get the scoop.

I asked, “What happened to the cookies?”

Tana answered, “I only cooked them a little over 10 minutes…about 12 minutes!”

Hmmm… “Tana, the package says to cook them 8 to 10 minutes. Since you like chewy cookies, you should’ve taken them out at 8 minutes.”

And Tana answered, “I wasn’t sure how long to cook them since I doubled the recipe.”

I found that burnt chocolate chip cookies go down best when served warm with laughter.

Summer 2009: The funny, fearsome, and fascinating!

As far as my summers go, this one ranked up there. Rather than working on my dissertation or consulting on educational grant projects, I simply enjoyed the time with my kids. As I reflect on the last couple of months, I realize that we’ve had some interesting adventures and observations.

*****
Both girls were participating in a softball tournament in town one Saturday. It was a hectic and wet morning. (The tournament was eventually cancelled due to rain.) Between the first two games, Todd went to the car to get some umbrellas when he noticed an older woman on her little Rascal.

The grouchy old lady had driven off the sidewalk and was trying to get her Rascal back up on the cement. Todd was passing a man with a dog on a leash and she was shrieking at him: “You need to keep an eye on your dog!” The situation got Todd’s attention and he turned to see how the man was handling this public scolding. The man turned around and yelled, “I’m blind! Okay?!”

That’s when Todd noticed the white cane and realized that this “seeing eye” dog apparently doesn’t yield to personal mobility vehicles.

*****
Did you notice the large, fluorescent green, flying beetles this summer? Where did these things come from?!

*****
One evening Todd and I decided to make a Walmart run. The kids love to come along on these excursions in the hopes of scoring a new toy or trinket. On this occasion, Annie and the little girls from across the street came running over to the yard. Todd told them that we were running to the store and Tana would be in charge.

Annie begged to come along but Dad was firm and told her she had to stay home this time. In reply Annie said, “Fine. We’ll just shake our butts and leave!” With that, the three girls turned and walked away.

*****
Over the 4th of July weekend we all (except Lisa’s clan) went to Dad and Mom’s. While the grandkids set off fireworks, we all enjoyed the nice weather and each other’s company. With all of our families together, we always end up with lots of fireworks to enjoy. The kids have a ball lighting, laughing, and running.

Dad has a large cement slab outside the shed that doubles as a launching pad every year. With our folding chairs in a semi-circle, everyone had a great view. Of course, we were also telling stories and jokes as well as taking pictures. There’s always lots of laughter when we are all together.

Mike, Jessi, and Caitie were handling the larger fireworks. We had several mortars that were dropped in a tube so that they would shoot straight up. They were some pretty powerful explosives and made for a beautiful display. However, Mike accidently knocked one over after lighting it—facing directly into our chairs. Marc calmly said, “That’s not good.” Feeling like the world was going in slow motion, Mike yelled, “Ruuuuunnnnnnn!!!!”

Everyone scrambled except Andy who stood there like a deer in the headlights. There were also three of us still in our chairs—Brandee was taking Dad and my picture. We were totally oblivious to all the excitement until things started lighting up!

BTW—the picture of Dad and I is really good!

*****
Speaking of Brandee, somehow she got on a “texting list” to get helpful dating tips for the single guy. Once every week or so, one of these little gems would come across her phone. Here’s a couple of my favorite:

If you have a pet, take a picture of it and put it in your wallet. If a honey asks if you have someone special in your life, take it out and show it to her.

When you meet someone new, tell her that you are 20 years older than you really are. Then say, “Don’t I look good for my age?”

If you’re talking to two honeys, don’t mack on either of them. Instead, get your swerve on and let them fight for your attention.

Oh, what great tips! I can just picture the chubby dork down his momma’s basement sending these to desperate men. Each of them ends with “For help, call…” and a phone number!

*****
Tana and I went for many long evening walks. On one occasion a neighbor was outside scolding her dog. We’re not sure what the dog had done but laughed and laughed when we heard, “You’re just a furry sack of tators! Yes you are! You’re just a furry sack of tators!”

What in the world does THAT mean?

*****
Jeff and Kim have a ghost that their children refer to as the “dark boy.” When we stayed with them over Memorial Weekend, I think we got his bedroom. Besides getting locked in our room FROM THE INSIDE one night, Todd found his Solo cup that he’d placed on top of the fridge had bite marks all around the rim the next morning.

*****
One afternoon the kids and I went with Shanel and her kids on a day trip to Kanopolis Lake. It was the perfect day to go out there—hot and still. We took lots of snacks and floaties. While the kids played, we laid out on the water or on the sand.

I was out on my floatie enjoying the heat of the sun and cool of the water, when I noticed the stench of something dead and rotting. I looked around because it hadn’t been there before and nobody else seemed to be noticing it. The kids were on the beach digging in the sand with shovels and buckets. I vaguely thought, “Hmmm…I wonder if they dug something up?”

Within a few minutes they started screaming. Andy had a dead, rotting, fairly large fish on his little plastic shovel. The whole beach reeked with the horrific odor! Everyone out there was just thrilled with this discovery.

I had them go further down the beach, dig a hole, and bury it.

*****
The people who lived here before us were antique collectors. In our backyard was a pile of old bricks from Kansas brick roads. This summer I used them to design and create a brick patio in our backyard that we will enjoy for many years to come.

*****
One day we decided to go with Brandee to Manhattan for a day trip. The idea was to pick up her nieces and nephews so that we could all go swimming together. Well, it ended up being an eventful day. After picking up the kids in Wamego, we made the drive back to Manhattan only to discover that the pool was closed. So, we drove back to Wamego to swim in their pool. After about ½ hour, the kids had to get out because there was a floater. No, not a dead body. Fecal matter in a pool requires a bit of sanitization before the swimmers can return.

What a day—lots of driving with little action! When we dropped the kids back off at home, their parents were there. We visited for a few minutes then headed out to the vehicle. On the way, one of the kids said, “Andy ate some dog food!” We were all outside at this point. I looked at Andy and said, “Well, what did it taste like, buddy?” Then I chuckled because I knew they were expecting a totally different reaction from Mom. Then Andy responded, “Just like every other dog food.”

After the laughter died down, I was able to inquire about his dog food sampling history.

*****
As Tana and I were walking tonight we had a great time recounting our summer stories for possible inclusion in my blog. We also tried thinking of a title using different letters and finally decided on “F” even though Tana thought that beginning the school year this way might be a bad omen. It’s funny--sometimes our walks are completely quiet with both of us lost in a comfortable silence filled with our own thoughts while other walks are a gabfest punctuated with giggling.

Man…I’m blessed.

The 4th of July!

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday.

Every town has their special “day” or event. In Salina it’s the River Festival. In Todd’s hometown it’s Satanta Day. In Tribune it’s the Greeley County Fair. But in Hugoton it is the 4th of July.

The morning of Independence Day starts early in Hugoton with events at the park and a parade. As a child, I remember eagerly anticipating this morning each summer. Our park was beautiful—full of large trees which provided lots of shade, playground equipment, and the pool. There was always a dunking booth, cake walk, three-legged race, face painting, sack race, turtle race, egg toss, sawing contest, ring toss, and bingo. But some years brought interesting new ideas. I remember one year when two people took turns sitting on a horizontal pole over a Port-a-Pit and pelted each other with padded sticks until one fell off.

The morning always ended with a swimsuit beauty contest. Don’t get too excited—the participants were all under the age of 6! Dressed in their cutest swimsuit, little boys and girls would parade around the pool getting introduced over a loud speaker as spectators crowded around the chain link fence to get a good view and take pictures. Although I remember participating in this event, I certainly didn’t win.

When Domino’s opened (not the Pizza chain but a tasty little burger joint owned by great guy that had this for a nickname), my family began the annual tradition of walking there from the park and eating lunch together. Nowadays, this requires a pretty big table—not to mention a race with the Stegman’s, who at some point started the same tradition!

Somewhere along the way, the boys quit coming to the park with us and began their own little tradition of golfing with Dad all morning while Mom, my sisters, and I chase the kids around the park and have fun catching up with old friends who have returned for the annual festivities.

By this date each year, wheat harvest was complete and my folks and their friends were ready to unwind. We often got together with friends for some type of party. The parents sat around in lawn chairs while we blew things up all afternoon with big metal coffee cans full of firecrackers. At some point, one of my brothers-in-law brought a potato gun. After that, the boys worked together to design and build another one to perfection. From that year on, as my sisters and I played with the kids, the boys shot the potato gun. It always cracked us up that they laughed long and hard after EVERY shot! This led up to Tana’s famous line to Aunt Casy (probably at about 4 years old), “I love fireworks day. I love potato day.” Mom learned quickly to stock up on potatoes and cheap hairspray.

My hometown always put on a great fireworks display at the Babe Ruth baseball diamond. I remember being impatient for the baseball game to end. Between the game and nightfall there was typically a coin hunt in a pile of hay. With my asthma, I never got to participate in this exciting event. Everyone would park out there and sit in the stands, lawn chairs, the pickup beds to “ooh” and “ahh” at the sight. It always ended with an American Flag that would light up for a few seconds before fizzling out to signal the end. In the last several years this has been held at the Dirtona Raceway but most often at the high school football field where spectators sit in the bleachers and are often treated to some type of entertainment prior to the display.

Back at home, the fun really began. This is when Dad drug out the night fireworks that he had purchased. Grown men are just like excited children when it comes to fireworks! Typically we had a driveway full of friends and a huge stockpile of things to light up. In town we simply lit these in the street. Now that my folks live in the country, we use the cement slab by the shed—unless it’s been a particularly dry summer. My husband and brothers-in-law share that same ornery gleam that my Dad always has in his eye when it’s time to light ‘em up. The grandkids all take turns helping with this task with shrieks of fear and excitement.

Over the years, we’ve deviated from this typical schedule on occasion. Many of these years, work kept someone away. One year Heath was recovering from surgery in Wichita and we watched the fireworks over there. When the twins were babies, I remember being exhausted and staying at Dad and Mom’s to watch from the window while everyone went into town. Of course, I’ll never forget the Independence Day weekend of 1991 when we lost Thad, Carrie, and Delbert. Remembering Thad’s ornery grin will always be part of this day for me.

So many have given so much to give us the freedoms that we enjoy in this wonderful country—the United States of America. I know that I was blessed to be born in this country and raised in Hugoton, Kansas. No wonder this is my favorite holiday. Happy 4th of July!

Detentions!

Just for the record...I only got sent to the Principal's office twice while attending Hugoton Elementary, Middle, and High Schools. Both times Brooke was in with me!

In 5th grade we were in Mr. Calvert's class. Brooke and I sat in the back left corner with Shannon and either Jana or Rene in front of us. Over in the back right corner sat the trio of Billy, Darren, and Jeff. They loved to torment us. We, however, also found little ways to get under their skin. (I remember, for instance, calling them "Lilly Beeper" and "Karen Dark".)

I'm going to side-track for just a minute here because I LOVED Mr. Calvert's class. Here are some highlights from that year:

• We listened to music often--Flying Purple People Eater, I love a Rainy Night (I can picture Thad and Lance on the front row singing this and bobbing their heads back and forth!), The Tide is High...


• Jolly Ranchers--these were our "prizes" for different activities.


• Short Stories--I remember going to the the little custodial closet to record my short story on a cassette player. At the end of the year we walked to his house for a field trip and listened to all of them! We thought they were all so funny.


• As we walked back to class from PE, cutting across the playground, Aaron punched Brooke which knocked the wind out of her, which made her pass out! She was at the end of the line and nobody realized it! Did we make it back to the room and see her out the window or realize it before we got back in? I can't remember...


• Select Choir--I was an alto and Brooke was a soprano. However, after we were given our seating assignments, Brooke and I decided we needed to sit together. So we sat on the back row of her section. Apparently Mrs. Stahlman had forgotten where we were SUPPOSED to sit. We both sang high soprano from then on. It was NOT pretty!


• Shannon put a tack on Brooke's chair as a joke. When Brooke came back to her seat, she was talking to me and put her knee on her chair. That tack sank all the way into her kneecap. It was pretty tramatic for all of us girls!

Back to the story...

The devilish trio was often tormenting us. Since we all sat at the back, they would say things that Mr. Calvert could not hear. I don't remember ever tattling on them but we were sassy enough to retaliate occasionally.

On this particular occasion, we were working with clay. (Mr. Calvert must've had a good understanding of Multiple Intelligences and Learning Styles even back then!) As the boys were tormenting us, I made a clay face. Then I said to them, "This is Jeff's face!" and I smashed it. They proceeded at this point to hurl obscenities our way. I remember our response to this clearly because I thought we were so clever. We said, "We have mouths, too. And Mr. Begley has ears!"

The next day I came to school and sat with my little group in the common's area waiting for the bell. But while I was waiting, I got called to the Principal's office. Apparently three young men from my class had went to visit him with some concerns. Mr. Begley asked me about making the clay face and smashing it. I, of course, started bawling and admitted to this heinous offense. Then he told me that they had indicated that I was making fun of his ears. What?! I tried to explain our clever response between my sobs but don't know that he ever understood what really happened.

As I left the office, Brooke walked in. The color drained from her as she looked at my tear-streaked face. She really thought she was in for it! When I got back to class, Mr. Calvert pulled me aside to see if I was okay. I was so embarrassed that I was crying so I wanted to justify my tears. My response was, "Casy hit me!" (Years later I told Casy about this little untruth. She was mortified!)

My second offense was on the bus in junior high. We were headed to a track meet or a field trip somewhere. Brooke and I were sitting together and this time we were being tormented by Brian and Lance.

I had made a trip to Bloodharts right before we left so I had one of their cute little sacks with Precious Moments characters on them. This particular sack had two sweet little girls hugging one another. We wrote Brian's name and drew an arrow pointing to one girl then wrote Lance's name with an arrow pointing to the other...then handed this back, seat by seat, until it reached them on the bus.

Brian went home that evening and gave it to his mother. The next morning she went to see Mr. Krueger with the little bag in hand. Brooke and I got 15 minutes of detention. We served it with pride.

Summers

My summer started today at 1:00. It could not have been a more beautiful day, either.

I've always loved the summers. Growing up in Hugoton, my sisters and I walked, rode our bikes, and skateboarded all over town. There were a few summers, when Lisa was still little enough that she rode on the back of Mom's bike, that I remember taking family bicycle rides. Dad would head up the group while Mom brought up the rear. We had a specific path through town that we took. I loved those rides. Dad always started a game of tag with us older girls. It made Mom so nervous to watch us swerve at each other.

As I got a little older, I remember waiting patiently for 2 o'clock to roll around so I could go to the pool. We were there almost everyday all day. We had this pea green Ram Charger (we could remove the top) that was Mom's summer ride. It had a roll bar so it was also the sand dune cruizer. I'm not sure why my Dad and his friends thought it fun to see who could climb the steepest dune!

In junior high I got my learner's permit. I can very clearly remember that first summer of driving--Ranae and Tammie were in town and Footloose was the HOT soundtrack of the summer. Any time I hear one of those songs, I think of grinning at my cousins while getting used to being behind the wheel!

High school summers included babysittng the Crawford boys and swimming. Little Brett and I had lots of fun! Of course, going to the pool in high school had absolutely NOTHING to do with swimming. My best friend, Julie, also babysat. We always coordinated our schedules to do things together with the kids.

Summers in college were busy with classes. I was in a hurry to get out and get a job so I always enrolled full-time and worked. However, Heath and I found time to go to the Hays neighborhood pools quite often--followed by a Sonic drink or a TCBY yogurt. I also always took 2 weeks off to go home and see my folks and Lisa for a while.

After my first year of teaching, I remember the exhileration I felt when the realization hit me that I had 3 months with my son! Todd and I were married the previous March and right at the beginning of the summer we found out that we were going to have a baby. That was a special summer. A summer that was just focused on Heath (and our new puppy, Tandy). In Healy there was a small community pool that we paid to use. Plus we spent many evenings watching Heath pick dandelions in right field.

Summers in Tribune were very busy. The kids were growing and our family was growing. I actually managed the pool the year I was pregnant with the twins! Tana was 3 and could swim like a fish...a dark little blondie! We always had to take Barbie along with us to the pool. Later in Tribune, we bought a bigger house right across the street from the pool. It was heavenly! We had a big, beautiful and shady back yard where we spent most of our time. Summers in Tribune were filled with bike rides and long walks in the evenings.

At first the walks included a double-stroller, but as the years went on we watched our kids move to bikes with, and later without, training wheels. They love telling the story of Mom hitting a pothole and going over her handlebars before landing on the pavement with road rash from my toes to my forehead. They think it is so funny that I lost my little front granny basket during that fall! I proved my toughness by finishing that bike ride even though I was a bloody mess.

In Salina we live by a dike that has a walking trail on it. That 2-mile long trail see us come up and down almost every evening--usually with the little ones on their bikes. The second summer we were here, Heath and I wore ourselves out with daily workouts as he was getting ready to go into the Navy. Our pool adventures now typically involve a drive to a nearby town to play at an aquatic center.

I'm so excited for a new summer with my children and the warm sun. I look forward to the upcoming adventures we will take and the memories we will make.

Funny Things My Kids Say--Part 5

One day this past week I had to leave the house early for a meeting. I'm very blessed to have my sister, Casy, living only about 2 blocks away and she agreed to help me out by getting my 10-year-old twins, Andy and Annie, to school for me.

After loading them in and buckling up, they headed down the road with "Ring of Fire" playing on her stereo. This recording artist helped make up the soundtrack of our childhood. If you've read my other posts, you know that there are several. She decided to quiz my children to see if I've been raising them properly to recognize his voice.

She turned up the song and asked, "Okay...do you know who this is?" Andy said, "I know this one!" Then he got a look of concentration on his face as he tried to think of the name. As they drove further, Casy asked again, "Who is it?" Andy answered again that he was sure he knew, he just needed a few minutes to think! Annie, on the other hand, sat quietly just listening to the music and contemplating the question. A little closer to school Casy offered, "I'll give you a hint. His initials are the same as Jesus." Andy was so frustrated that he couldn't think of the name!

As they pulled into the parking lot, Casy exclaimed, "It's Johnny Cash!" Andy replied, "Oh Yeah!" while Annie finally piped up with "What is Jesus last name?!"