My Wedding Ring

I lost it. It's gone.

Last Sunday I went to the YMCA and realized I hadn't removed my wedding ring. So I took it off and put it in my cupholder. I remember thinking at the time that someone could break in and steal it. I very, very rarely remove it. That's the last time I remember seeing it.

That ring is more than just a ring to me. It's been part of me for over 15 years. The poor thing has been through a lot.

In the late spring of 1993, Todd took me ring shopping. First I had a to sign a hand-written contract saying that I would keep my mouth shut about it! The first store we went to was Woelk's Diamond Jewelers in Russell, KS. The first ring we looked at was mine. It was an original! We never found another ring that we liked as much.

Todd officially proposed to me over the Fourth of July that year. He only had the engagement ring portion because, as a poor college guy, the other part was still at Woelk's while he made the payments.

In August that year I started my first teaching job. It was rough being away for Todd for that semester but I was very busy coaching volleyball and being a single mother to a kindergartener. One morning I woke up and my ring finger was swollen up. Something had bit me during the night. The ring wouldn't budge and the swelling kept getting worse. School hadn't started and I had my girls doing two-a-day practices. After early morning practice I called Todd crying. Heath and I drove to Dighton and I had it cut off. It was traumatic!

The night before Todd and I were married, he went out with his buddies for his bachelor party--Todd, Mac, Jack, Hank, and Jeremy. They even met up with some Hugoton guys while they were out that night in Liberal. Jack and Mac got tickets that night for the "intent" of relieving themselves in the fountain on Main Street. (They got out of those!) When the guys got back to Jer's house, my ring was gone. In a panic, they started searching. The velvet-covered box was found on the floor. It had been chewed up by Shadow, Jer's German Shepherd. However, when they opened it my ring was still inside it without a scratch. I still have that box.

Since then it has rarely left my hand. The underside of the ring is thin from so much wear. Over the years I've cleaned many substances out of its nooks and crannies--everything from baby poop to cookie dough to hair product. In fact, it has become a tradition to sit at dad and mom's kitchen bar over the 4th of July with my sisters and mother and clean all of our rings together while we share stories about our year. Weird tradition, I know. (I never said my family was normal!)

It has been in numerous lakes and both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. It has been made bigger and then bigger and, when my finger got thinner, I wrapped taped around it so I could still wear it until it was made smaller. I've lost a diamond that was replaced. I've had the prongs built up. Many people have commented on its uniqueness...and to this day I have never seen another like it.

It even has a flaw that only makes it more endearing to me. You can actually see the flaw with your bare eye. Anytime I got it cleaned or fixed or resized, I looked to make sure that my flaw was there. It was MY ring and MY flaw.

It's been there through our ups and downs. Wow, marriage is quite a journey. I know it's just a piece of jewelry, but it represents so much to me.

And now it is gone.

It's funny how my trust in God affects how I look at everything. Even this makes me think that after 15 years--raising kids, changing careers, moving, growing apart and together in the ebb and flow that is a marriage--maybe a fresh start is in order.

And, who knows, maybe one day God will make sure it's returned to me. In the meantime, I'll be perfectly happy with a band.

The Wedding Reception

What a great weekend. It was amazing having my whole family—parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews—in Salina to help us celebrate! Wow…it is so hard to get everyone together. Plus, it was Caitie’s prom so everyone got to see her all dolled up.

The whole Greenway clan was able to come with the exception of Jeffrey’s family. It certainly felt like a reunion! It meant so much to Heath to have all of us together to celebrate such an important event in his life.

My favorite moments…

*As Heath and Stefannie were enjoying the first dance of the evening (I Love the Way You Love Me by John Michael Montgomery), the little ones started circling them on the dance floor. I thought it was so sweet to see them looking up with big grins at the happy couple—and then they whipped out Silly String and blasted them! I didn’t even see it coming! They were covered with the stuff. Immediately afterwards, Stefannie yelled, “Gina, this had to be YOUR idea!” Well, it wasn’t. Stef soon made it a priority to solve this little mystery. All fingers eventually pointed Tiff and Seresa. I should’ve known! When Stef asked them, they simply said, “Welcome to the Scrue!”

*Brooke’s middle child is an amazing dancer! Hmmmm…must be from her dad’s side. ;)

*One of Heath’s best friends was diagnosed with cancer right after high school. He graduated one year before my son. I remember Heath making the trip to take him for treatments in Denver at least once during his senior year. We were so scared. Josh came from Nebraska to celebrate with Heath, bringing a sweet girlfriend. He looked GREAT! Several times during the evening, he danced with this old lady. Two and a half years have passed without cancer now. It’s been a rough road. It amazes me that he has traveled it with such strength and grace. With such a tender heart, it should be no surprise that he and Heath have a close bond.

*It’s 10:30 Sunday night and Stef’s best friend from Michigan, Candace, is still in bed! I asked them if they made sure she was breathing…lightweight.

*When the evening was winding down, Brooke rounded up her family, said her “goodbyes”, and headed for the door...and then Paradise by the Dashboard Light (Meatloaf) came on and THAT plan went out the window! She made a beeline for the dance floor! I thoroughly enjoyed singing and dancing with my old friend. It’s been too long. In that 5 minutes, the last 25 years disappeared. There we were…in her basement, strobe light flashing, and giggling like little girls. Priceless.

*Aubrey (my niece) caught the bouquet while Josh caught the garter.

*Keegan, another one of Heath’s high school friends, also made the trip. I hadn’t seen this young man since graduation. At some point late in the evening, Keegan just walked right up to me and handed me his keys as if to say, “Here they are, Mom. Get me home safely.” I laughed and pocketed them. Good choice.

*Lisa and Kris know EVERY WORD to Ice, Ice Baby! Hey….DORK!

*Chad is a pretty quiet guy. As the boys were growing up, we got to know this laid back, red-necked, big-hearted kid. In fact, when I took Heath to his first concert (Aerosmith!), Chad came with us. He was in rare form last night! I didn’t know Chad HAD those dance moves! I had the pleasure of dancing with him to several different songs. He would just find me every now and then and say, “Come on Little Momma Tyler!” We found this so funny because the boys used to call me “Big Momma Tyler” when they were in high school…but Chad knows that I’ve been working hard on my health and fitness. As we sat at the table today watching video from last night, we had to back up several times to repeatedly watch him doing the “worm”. His comment was, “Now that’s a big worm.” I think he was hurting today…

*Mike and Jess were our DJs. They were perfect! It was great to have our own music to dance to—everything from the Cha, Cha Slide to Jerry Lee Lewis to 80s hair bands to Jump Around! Very cool….thanks guys!

*My family is big on toasts. Any time we are all together celebrating an occasion, we toast the event as well as the participants. Heath and Stefannie made the first toasts last night, expressing appreciation for the event and his family. I was up next. Of course, I love my new daughter-in-law very much. It was my pleasure to publicly welcome her to our family and remind her that this family (the entire Mostrom clan) is a great one. Next, Todd took the microphone. All of you that know my husband also know that he is a private and quiet person (in mixed company). He had been thinking about his toast all day and knew exactly what he wanted to say. He said, “When you get married you need to have the role model of a great marriage to guide you.” And then his emotions took over. It was very moving to watch him continue, voice cracking, with something like “I knew that we had that in Gina’s parents. So, Heath and Stef, learn from Grandpa and Grandma Mostrom. You’ve got some great role models in them.” He told me that there was more that he had wanted to say, but the words just left him in that moment. Those are the BEST toasts, though…right from the heart.

*I’m pretty sure that a spot of grass in our yard will struggle to survive thanks to Heath’s college buddy, Ben.

*Early in the evening when we were trying to get the dance going, I asked Mike to play Home Sweet Home (Motley Crue) so I could dance with Heath. This is my very favorite song and one that I know Heath also really likes. After all, Todd and I also took him to see the Crue when he was 17—the age I was when I saw them for the first time. During this dance, Heath confessed that he had played this song multiple times the week before in anticipation of coming “Home”. It was very sweet when Todd pulled Stef out on the floor to join us for this dance.

*Man, I wish Tom had been here. Hmmm…I think this friend of Heath was the one who started the whole “Momma Tyler” thing. He, however, is in the Coast Guard and was unable to get away. Come see us when you’re in Kansas, Tommy Boy.

*When Heath and Stef cut their cake, they gently started reaching toward each other to share a bite. Then Stef made a sudden move and before we knew it they both had cake up their noses! The pictures of this are hysterical! Picture 1—smiling lovingly at each other, cake almost to the other’s lips. Picture 2—eyes closed, cake shoved blindly, and grimacing. Oh goodness. They both had to go the bathroom and clean up and blow the cake out their noses before they could continue with their shared drink of champagne. Todd kidded them with, “Most couples don’t need to take an intermission!”

*Although we had planned to have the kids watching movies in the other room, they preferred to dance along with us. Mom said today, “I don’t think anyone there had any more fun than Emma!” I think she’s right. Kris and Lisa have their hands full with that 4-year-old firecracker.

*Todd’s smoked pork (42 pounds of it!) was delicious. I am so lucky to be married to a man that loves to cook…and is so good at it. Emeril…eat your heart out!

We ended the evening by making sure that everyone made it safely to their destination. Most of the 20-somethings crashed at our house. Having Heath and his friends hanging out in our house certainly brought about some feelings of déjà vu. As they slowly got around and left today, I was struck by their expressions of thanks and promises to stay in touch with us. These kids that were like part of our family have now grown into wonderful young adults. With Heath being so far away, I’m sure they were conscious of the fact that it may be a long time before they will get to see him again.

Memorable evening...special friends...great family.

Fifteen Years and Counting

I met his friends before I met him. Tiffany invited me and my 3-year-old son over for a BBQ with the gang. She knew I didn't get out much and she wanted me to meet some new people. Jeff (The Macster) was grilling the food and was trying to get a count of people to purchase the steaks. Tiffany told him, "Gina will have a steak but Heath will probably just want a hotdog." Jeff was assuming that "Heath" was my boyfriend and was thinking that this guy must be a weirdo! I think he was pretty surprised when I showed up with my little man.

That same summer, Tiff talked me into going out with the girls one evening. While waiting for her to get around, I browsed through her boyfriend's yearbooks. Nonchalantly, I pointed to a guy in one of the pictures and said, "He's cute." I could just see the wheels in her mind start turning, "Oh my God! He's coming to school here this year! You've got to meet him! Oh my God! You'll love each other!" Whooaaaa! Slow it down... The idea of a blind date was pretty scary to this single mom.

But, a blind date is exactly what Tiff and Macster arranged. My first date with Todd (the tall, dark, and handsome guy from the yearbook) was dinner at the bar in Moscow, a shed party with the locals, and hot-tubbing at my parents home. The next day Mac took us up in his plane for a private tour of Southwestern Kansas.

When school started back up a couple of weeks later, Todd was quick to call and set up another date. With our common friends and instant compatibility, everyone knew that we were a good match. Even Heath seemed to fit very easily into the gang (otherwise known as the Scrue). He became known as "The Boy", a nickname that Todd still uses for him today.

One day in the Spring of 1993, Todd got a pen and piece of paper to write out a contract. I didn't know what he was up to and he wouldn't let me read it until he was finished. It turned out to be a signed statement that I, Gina, would not tell anyone that we were going ring shopping that day! That Fourth of July weekend when we were visiting Hugoton he asked my father if he could marry me. Then he officially asked me at my parent's home.

The night before our wedding, the boys went to Liberal for a Bachelor Party. Todd was staying at Jeremy's (his best man) home. Jer had a big beautiful German Shepard named Shadow that we all loved. Macster and Jack got themselves in a little trouble that night with Liberal's Finest when they "considered" relieving themselves in the public fountain on Main Street. Thank goodness the judge believed the "considered" part! (I'll never forget that they came home from college to fight the charge and, when they won, celebrated with ice cream from the DQ!) The boys had a great time and a late night. When they got back to Jer's house, though, my wedding ring was missing! Immediately an extensive search took place resulting in the discovery of a chewed up ring case. Shadow had apparently mistaken it for a new chew toy. I can just picture the boys crowded around as Todd opened it up to find that my ring was somehow still inside and in perfect condition. That ring box is in my top drawer to this day. The next afternoon Todd married a couple of people...both me and Heath.

Taking on a child was a huge responsibility and I'm sure it was very scary. I remember watching "Tool Time" one evening and Al was babysitting the Taylor children. The next day he told Tim that it was challenging because he hadn't experienced the bonding that took place in those first few months and years of life. Todd just blurted out something like, "That's it! I missed that part! I feel just like Al!" I know it wasn't always easy. By June we were expecting our first baby together.

Tana was three when we found that we were going to become parents once more. The sonogram was scheduled but Todd was going to have to miss it because he needed to get to Satanta for Macster's Bachelor Party! I told him to go ahead. In those early sonograms you can't see much anyway. But we were surprised when Baby A and Baby B both had their first pictures taken. There was NO WAY I was telling Todd this over the phone! That afternoon I drove down to Satanta, sat my husband down at Mac's folks' house, and gave him the news. He was ecstatic! Everyone was.

With the twins came a very, very busy schedule. Actually, just the fact that we had four children kept us busy. The next several years were filled with kids' activities, the monotany of daily routines, and a constant quest for more sleep. But Todd was always up for this challenge, working hard all day and coming home to help me in the evenings.

In the last few years, Heath has left for college and then the Navy. Tana has turned into a young lady. Andy and Annie have hit "double digits." (This quote from Annie on their last birthday, "Now we're all in double digits, Mom!") The schedule is still busy but the kids' needs are no longer as demanding. I notice Todd enjoying teaching his kids to cook, taking Tana to learn to drive, and showing our children in general how a good father raises his kids.

This month, on March 12, we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. Heath called the other day and Todd came in with the phone saying, "It's the Boy!" He's enjoying so much seeing the man that Heath has become, the man that he helped raise.

Thanks Tiff. Thanks Mac. Your little blind date gave me a beautiful family...a beautiful life. I'll always be grateful for this man...my husband...my Todd.