The Wedding Reception

What a great weekend. It was amazing having my whole family—parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews—in Salina to help us celebrate! Wow…it is so hard to get everyone together. Plus, it was Caitie’s prom so everyone got to see her all dolled up.

The whole Greenway clan was able to come with the exception of Jeffrey’s family. It certainly felt like a reunion! It meant so much to Heath to have all of us together to celebrate such an important event in his life.

My favorite moments…

*As Heath and Stefannie were enjoying the first dance of the evening (I Love the Way You Love Me by John Michael Montgomery), the little ones started circling them on the dance floor. I thought it was so sweet to see them looking up with big grins at the happy couple—and then they whipped out Silly String and blasted them! I didn’t even see it coming! They were covered with the stuff. Immediately afterwards, Stefannie yelled, “Gina, this had to be YOUR idea!” Well, it wasn’t. Stef soon made it a priority to solve this little mystery. All fingers eventually pointed Tiff and Seresa. I should’ve known! When Stef asked them, they simply said, “Welcome to the Scrue!”

*Brooke’s middle child is an amazing dancer! Hmmmm…must be from her dad’s side. ;)

*One of Heath’s best friends was diagnosed with cancer right after high school. He graduated one year before my son. I remember Heath making the trip to take him for treatments in Denver at least once during his senior year. We were so scared. Josh came from Nebraska to celebrate with Heath, bringing a sweet girlfriend. He looked GREAT! Several times during the evening, he danced with this old lady. Two and a half years have passed without cancer now. It’s been a rough road. It amazes me that he has traveled it with such strength and grace. With such a tender heart, it should be no surprise that he and Heath have a close bond.

*It’s 10:30 Sunday night and Stef’s best friend from Michigan, Candace, is still in bed! I asked them if they made sure she was breathing…lightweight.

*When the evening was winding down, Brooke rounded up her family, said her “goodbyes”, and headed for the door...and then Paradise by the Dashboard Light (Meatloaf) came on and THAT plan went out the window! She made a beeline for the dance floor! I thoroughly enjoyed singing and dancing with my old friend. It’s been too long. In that 5 minutes, the last 25 years disappeared. There we were…in her basement, strobe light flashing, and giggling like little girls. Priceless.

*Aubrey (my niece) caught the bouquet while Josh caught the garter.

*Keegan, another one of Heath’s high school friends, also made the trip. I hadn’t seen this young man since graduation. At some point late in the evening, Keegan just walked right up to me and handed me his keys as if to say, “Here they are, Mom. Get me home safely.” I laughed and pocketed them. Good choice.

*Lisa and Kris know EVERY WORD to Ice, Ice Baby! Hey….DORK!

*Chad is a pretty quiet guy. As the boys were growing up, we got to know this laid back, red-necked, big-hearted kid. In fact, when I took Heath to his first concert (Aerosmith!), Chad came with us. He was in rare form last night! I didn’t know Chad HAD those dance moves! I had the pleasure of dancing with him to several different songs. He would just find me every now and then and say, “Come on Little Momma Tyler!” We found this so funny because the boys used to call me “Big Momma Tyler” when they were in high school…but Chad knows that I’ve been working hard on my health and fitness. As we sat at the table today watching video from last night, we had to back up several times to repeatedly watch him doing the “worm”. His comment was, “Now that’s a big worm.” I think he was hurting today…

*Mike and Jess were our DJs. They were perfect! It was great to have our own music to dance to—everything from the Cha, Cha Slide to Jerry Lee Lewis to 80s hair bands to Jump Around! Very cool….thanks guys!

*My family is big on toasts. Any time we are all together celebrating an occasion, we toast the event as well as the participants. Heath and Stefannie made the first toasts last night, expressing appreciation for the event and his family. I was up next. Of course, I love my new daughter-in-law very much. It was my pleasure to publicly welcome her to our family and remind her that this family (the entire Mostrom clan) is a great one. Next, Todd took the microphone. All of you that know my husband also know that he is a private and quiet person (in mixed company). He had been thinking about his toast all day and knew exactly what he wanted to say. He said, “When you get married you need to have the role model of a great marriage to guide you.” And then his emotions took over. It was very moving to watch him continue, voice cracking, with something like “I knew that we had that in Gina’s parents. So, Heath and Stef, learn from Grandpa and Grandma Mostrom. You’ve got some great role models in them.” He told me that there was more that he had wanted to say, but the words just left him in that moment. Those are the BEST toasts, though…right from the heart.

*I’m pretty sure that a spot of grass in our yard will struggle to survive thanks to Heath’s college buddy, Ben.

*Early in the evening when we were trying to get the dance going, I asked Mike to play Home Sweet Home (Motley Crue) so I could dance with Heath. This is my very favorite song and one that I know Heath also really likes. After all, Todd and I also took him to see the Crue when he was 17—the age I was when I saw them for the first time. During this dance, Heath confessed that he had played this song multiple times the week before in anticipation of coming “Home”. It was very sweet when Todd pulled Stef out on the floor to join us for this dance.

*Man, I wish Tom had been here. Hmmm…I think this friend of Heath was the one who started the whole “Momma Tyler” thing. He, however, is in the Coast Guard and was unable to get away. Come see us when you’re in Kansas, Tommy Boy.

*When Heath and Stef cut their cake, they gently started reaching toward each other to share a bite. Then Stef made a sudden move and before we knew it they both had cake up their noses! The pictures of this are hysterical! Picture 1—smiling lovingly at each other, cake almost to the other’s lips. Picture 2—eyes closed, cake shoved blindly, and grimacing. Oh goodness. They both had to go the bathroom and clean up and blow the cake out their noses before they could continue with their shared drink of champagne. Todd kidded them with, “Most couples don’t need to take an intermission!”

*Although we had planned to have the kids watching movies in the other room, they preferred to dance along with us. Mom said today, “I don’t think anyone there had any more fun than Emma!” I think she’s right. Kris and Lisa have their hands full with that 4-year-old firecracker.

*Todd’s smoked pork (42 pounds of it!) was delicious. I am so lucky to be married to a man that loves to cook…and is so good at it. Emeril…eat your heart out!

We ended the evening by making sure that everyone made it safely to their destination. Most of the 20-somethings crashed at our house. Having Heath and his friends hanging out in our house certainly brought about some feelings of déjà vu. As they slowly got around and left today, I was struck by their expressions of thanks and promises to stay in touch with us. These kids that were like part of our family have now grown into wonderful young adults. With Heath being so far away, I’m sure they were conscious of the fact that it may be a long time before they will get to see him again.

Memorable evening...special friends...great family.

Heath: From Pampers to Plank Owner

I've always told Heath that God must have big plans for him to do great things.

As my oldest child entered this world, I realized that something was wrong. It had been a long labor and we were all tired--including the doctor and my great nurse (who was also the mother of a classmate of mine). But as he started to cry and I looked at the faces of my caregivers, it was obvious that there was a problem. I will never forget my words, "Is he all there?" The doctor gently explained to me that he was fine but that he had a cleft lip and palate. At my young age I had never even heard of a cleft. When they handed my son to me, I was terrified. What did this mean? Was he mentally okay?

His foot was also bent way back. Heath was a big baby and I had been feeling that foot at the bottom of my right rib cage for months! Those feet were huge!

So, our journey together started.

With the cleft Heath couldn't get good suction. It would take me 2 hours to get 2 ounces of formula in him. He was so hungry. I remember rocking in my hand-me-down rocking chair all night trying to fill him up and wishing I could go to bed. During those first few months I watched more than my share of middle-of-the-night Gilligan's Island and MASH episodes. At some point we realized that if we pinched his cheeks, it closed the gap, and he could get more down. I have some great video footage of my younger sister (an 8th grader at the time) using this technique to feed her nephew. It's precious!

At three months, Heath had his first surgery. I can't tell you what it's like to send your baby into surgery. I remember walking back as far as they would let me then crying my way back to the waiting room--praying that all would go as planned.

The first time I fed him after the surgery I looked at my mother and told her that something was not right. He was able to drink so much easier! We realized as we sat in the hospital room that, for the first time, we weren't listening to the loud slurping sounds that always accompanied a feeding. If felt good to laugh with relief.

Over the years, Heath had many surgeries. He got braces very young and went through ear tubes, speech therapy, retainers, glasses (with a stigmatism), and braces on his feet due to the one being bent so far back.

Speaking of feet...

When Heath was in the 1st grade (at the tender age of 6) we went to get a pair of school shoes. After measuring Heath's feet, the salesman informed me that boys shoes only went up to size 5. Heath needed a 6. We would need to go to the men's section. What?!?! Starting that year, Heath's shoe size matched his age. At 10 he wore a men's 10. At 13...a 13. At 15...15. Thank goodness that this is where it stopped! It was pretty funny that Todd got Heath's hand-me-down shoes when he outgrew the 12's at 13. Uncle Marc got some when Heath was only 11! I always told Heath, "You know what they say: The bigger the feet.......the bigger the shoes!" He didn't get this little joke until he was MUCH older!

We read every night. I loved reading to Heath and singing to him. He was such a beautiful and special little guy with enough personality for 5 boys. He must've been about 3 when, on a very windy day, I went outside our apartment to check on him and newspaper pages were swirling everywhere in the wind. It didn't take long to spot Heath with arms thrown up in the air watching his masterpiece--all of my neighbors' papers dismembered and flung in the wind by my child for amusement!

Macster will never let him forget the time he hitched a ride home with us. After stopping for Mexican food in Dodge City, we headed down the road with Heath still finishing his meal. At some point I asked Heath if he was finished and, when he assured me that he was, I threw the rest of the stinky burrito out the window. For the rest of that trip (about an hour!) we had to listen to Heath repeatedly wail, "I want my burrito!" Poor Macster waited a long, long time to have his first child.

School wasn't easy for my little guy. I'm really not sure why, but he just didn't have the drive to really try. I'd swear that every teacher he ever had wanted to pull his/her hair out with frustration because he/she knew Heath could do the work but, for some reason, chose not to. As a teacher myself, it drove me nuts...especially since I knew how bright he was.

We began to butt heads. It was hard for me to choose my battles with him because there were just so many. My son and I had to hit bottom and start back over in our relationship. Maybe it was because we had been through so much together. Maybe it was because we were so alike. Maybe it was God's way of showing us how much we needed and loved each other. Early in this time of reconciliation, Heath had to go through a major surgery. His top jaw had to be sawed off and reset. I think that the extended period of time when he couldn't talk played a big role in our healing. My son wrote on his little Magna Doodle that he loved me more than I had heard it from him in the previous several years. I really needed that. Strangely enough, since that surgery Heath has not had a stigmatism.

I'm thankful that Heath had one more year of high school and, even now looking back, I'm amazed at the transformation of our relationship. I don't know how many trips Heath and I made by ourselves from far western Kansas to Wichita, but I do know that during that year he asked me to turn off the radio and just talk to him. We had to laugh about this...isn't that what mommas usually asked their kids to do? I loved these long, uninterrupted conversations with my son with some 80s music thrown in for fun.

When he got his diploma, I cried. I cried hard. There was a time that I didn't think he would put in the effort to make it through. He made it very clear to me that he was finishing because I wanted him to...not because he saw the value in it. I assured him that he would not be sorry.

Heath went off to college and did pretty well that first year, considering his lack of effort throughout high school. He surprised us that spring when he informed us that he wanted to join the service and was considering the Navy. He made the decision to enlist, following in the footsteps of my dad and his Aunt Lisa. I was proud of his decision to serve our country. As a member of the Cardinal Company he took his oath in Busch Stadium prior to a St. Louis Cardinals game. We (dad, mom, brother, and sisters) got to be on the field to watch. Todd reached down with an empty medicine bottle to scoop up a bit of the stadium during that proud moment.

My parents were able to join us for Heath's graduation from boot camp outside of Chicago. He was so handsome in his dress blues! That Christmas he asked Stef to marry him. Being my child, he is a bit impatient. So, I wasn't too surprised when he called and said to get a ticket and come out because they didn't want to waste time planning a wedding, they were ready to be married. On St. Patrick's Day of 2008, I watched my son marry the woman he loves in the City Hall in Bath, Maine in the presence of his Shipmates and his mother. The joyous event was followed by Barbeque (in Maine?) and bowling (it was league night). It was perfect. It was so.....Heath!

This past year he became a "Plank Owner" of a new destroyer, the Sterett. They are now settled into their new lives together in San Diego experiencing all of those "firsts" that come in the beginning stages of a marriage.

Heath called me tonight...just to talk to his "Momma". He was bubbling over with pride talking about his job, his accomplishments, praises that he has received from his superiors, and his dedication to the U.S. Navy. I just listened...and smiled...and even laughed out loud. Heath's beginnings, his challenges, the chips on his shoulders, and his setbacks did not define my son, he is defining himself.

God has big plans for my son, Heath. I know it.

Funny Things My Kids Say: Part 2

I was going through my files today and found this list that I compiled at some point in the past.

When Heath was a little guy…
Me: Old McDonald had a farm. EIEIO. And on this farm he had a
Heath: Pig
Me: EIEIO. With an oink, oink here (etc.) …and on this farm he had a
Heath: Duck
Me: EIEIO. With an quack, quack here (etc.) …and on this farm he had a
Heath: Turtle
Me: EIEIO. With a hmmmmm. Heath, what does a turtle say?
Heath: Cowabunga Dude!

The twins with Grandma Mostrom at age 3 or 4…
Annie: When I grow up I’m going to be a star.
Andy: Well, I’m going to be the moon!

Tana to Casy on the 4th of July at about age 6 or 7 after years of watching the son-in-laws shoot off the potato gun every time they were all in Hugoton…
"I love fireworks day! I love potato day!"

The twins riding with me in the car at age 6…
Annie: When I grow up I’m going to be a veterinarian.
Andy: Annie, you’ll have to eat lots of vegetables!

On the way to the waterpark when the twins were 8…
Andy: Why do we have belly buttons?
Me: (lengthy discussion about the connection of the baby to the mother followed by) Everyone that was born has a belly button.
Annie: So did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
Followed by silence.