Inappropriate Behavior

You know how most people sit in the same place, same pew in their church every Sunday? Well, we don't. We try to mix it up a little bit and usually sit in a different place each week. This past Sunday we happened to sit behind a couple that was a bit odd.

While I was intent on the message being delivered by our Pastor, my husband's attention drifted a bit. He noticed the woman lean over to the man and whisper something, then (while I was totally oblivious) she proceeded to hike her right butt cheek and blast flatulence toward her husband. I missed this entire episode! (I need to be sure to compliment my Pastor for an engaging sermon.)

Todd, however, told himself that he surely didn't see and hear what he thought he saw and heard--until the husband leaned back and said, "I'm sorry about that" to the older woman on the other side of Todd. At this point, he knew that he couldn't turn and look at her face or he would totally lose it. I, however, was still completely clueless.

Next, the guy leaned back to me and said, "Sorry about that." Todd was still biting his tongue! The comment broke my concentration from the service but I had no idea why this man was apologizing to me. So, I leaned forward (at this point I know Todd was thinking--"Don't do it! Don't do it!") and asked, "Sorry about what?" He looked at me like he didn't hear what I said, so I asked, "What happened?" (I know Todd wanted to pull me back and tell me to shut up!) The man informed me that "my wife has terrible gas."

I leaned back in the pew with my mind replaying what this man just said. Confused, I looked at Todd but he was staring straight forward because he knew that if he even looked at me he would burst out laughing. I, however, apparently lack this self-control. Everytime I looked at Todd, he would smile but kept looking straight ahead while I convulsed with my silent laughter.

After the service, I think Todd laughed for two days. Of course, he had to fill me in on all of the details that I had missed--which just made the whole situation more absurd.

For those of you who may be following, this is the second "fart" story from church. Hmmm...I hope this isn't a trend. :)